Monday, February 2, 2015

Waiting and Confidence


One of the things that amazes me about New Yorkers is how good they are at waiting.  They wait at the bus stop and subway platform.  They wait for hours on the Thanksgiving Day Parade to come (I’ve done that one).  They wait in a sea of people to see the decorated department store windows at Christmas (I’ve done that one, too).  They wait for the dropping of the New Year’s Ball (not that one).  They wait in line (I cannot bring myself to say, as they do, “on line”) to buy theatre tickets.  They wait in line for special exhibits at the museum.  They wait in line to get coffee and a bagel.  They wait in line to go ice skating (although there is a way out of this particular line with cash).  They wait in line to wait in line.  They never seem to get flustered.

Isaiah tells us that “those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength” (40:31).  I must admit it doesn’t sound right to me.  I’m not good at waiting.  At all.  I had occasion last week to be waiting with Ginger to see a doctor.  I waited and I waited and I waited.  Hours.  And then I lost my cool.  I finally put my foot down and insisted (maybe demanded) on somebody paying attention.  And they did. 
Waiting seems to work for New Yorkers.  For me, not so much.  So what’s the difference? 

I take it as a spiritual failing of mine to think it’s up to me to make things happen.  When I wait, I wait with no expectation that the waiting will ever come to an end unless I do something about it.  New Yorkers wait with more confidence.  Confidence that the waiting will yield the desired outcome results in patience I suppose.  Maybe what my waiting lacks is confidence.  Perhaps my patience would be enhanced by cultivating confidence in others.

On the other hand, come to think of it, my waiting on the doctor last week resulted in a certain strength of its own, maybe precisely because of a lack of confidence.  Sometimes, after all, a lack of confidence is entirely justified.  It’s just that New York would cease to function if New Yorkers didn’t generally have it. 
I suppose Isaiah is right.  Those who wait renew their strength.  My strength, at least, seems to get a boost from a lack of patience.  Maybe one day I’ll mature to having more confidence instead.
Peace,

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